Catcher in the Rye

This is the shortest book review I've ever written. Here it is in full as posted on Goodreads back in April of this year:

"Probably the worst book I've ever read. I gave it one star because you can't give zero."

I guess that just about says it all. Man, how I hated, hated, hated this book. I bought it because for years I'd heard people raving about how it was a landmark of American literature and a cultural icon. No, it isn't. It's just a really, really bad story in every possible way.

Hyperquake

Every year, an elite few manage to change their lives forever. They break away from the rat race and join that exclusive club to which only those endowed with a special skill or gift are admitted. Songwriters, actors, playwrights and journalists enjoy the respect and the accolades that come with fame, and get to hobnob with other celebrities as they travel the world in style. As an added bonus, they are able to live a life of luxury from the royalties they are about to start perennially receiving on their newly completed album, book, play or movie. Many people aspire to this dream, and I have joined their ranks, a fact that only now I am ready to reveal. My life blood has gone into the writing of my novel. Many a weekend and bank holiday have been sacrificed (along with much of the rest of my free time) to get that special chapter done. But now it has all been worth it, because my magnum opus is complete at last and ready to hit the printing presses. Well, it is almost inevitable that an editor will want to tweak the text here and there as I’m a newcomer. That’s just part of the business. They'll get away with tinkering with my text the first time, but when my second book is up for publication, I won't let them change a comma. Not one niggly grammar point will be altered without my prior consent. But I digress. That is not what’s foremost on my mind at the moment. I am relishing something a little closer to home. The day is not far off when I will be able to call my boss and tell him that I won’t be in for work on Monday morning. Because my book is going to sell a million copies. I, Mark Gainsby Hammond III (my full name with that little III after it will really give the book a very sophisticated air, a clever last-minute notion of mine) am going to be a best seller. All I have to do is find a publisher and set the ball rolling.

So I send my book to five publishers. I could send it to more, but what's the point? Of these five who have it, three will kill to get their hands on it and make a bid, so why give myself the extra work of sending it off to others? Let these ones fight it out.

But then the replies come and, lo and behold, they are rejections. Well not quite, depending on how you interpret them:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Thank you for sending us your manuscript(s). We regret to inform you that we are not accepting unsolicited works at the moment, but wish you luck with your project(s). We would, however, recommend that you find a literary agent before re-submitting at a later date, as priority is given to manuscripts forwarded to us through literary agencies.

Well, that’s not an outright rejection really, is it? They might take it later, as they have said they are not accepting “at the moment”; but there is also hope if I can find that literary agent. That shouldn’t prove too hard. Publicity agents, real estate agents and travel agents are always advertising, so finding this literary agent person shouldn’t take too long. They also warned me that it is best to work with an agent who specializes in my field. That should be easy enough. Like many writers, I pen science fiction stories, so I just have to steer clear of those who specialize in romance.

Now there's a turn up for the books. After consulting the Yellow Pages and the telephone directory, I am surprised to find that there are no literary agents listed. Strange, even though I live in a big city. Wait, I’ve got it! They’re probably all located down in London. But a search in the Yellow Pages of the capital also turns up nothing. These literary agents do seem to be a secretive bunch. Finally, a letter of rejection arrives which is a slight variation of the other four and informs me that a list of literary agents is available in the Writers’ & Artists’ Yearbook. This publication turns out to be pretty expensive, but by now I’m beginning to think that getting published won’t be so easy after all. A little further investment in this book will hardly kill me. Having sacrificed so many holidays and weekends and forked out for the photocopying and postage incurred so far, a couple of quid more won’t make much difference. Even so, I am starting to see a little drain on my resources here, despite the idea that I would make money from my writing rather than spend it to get published.

But it will all pay off in the end. For now I have the list of agents, and one of them will be my saviour. One of them will sit down with me between lunches and dinners at nice restaurants and give me pointers, really help me polish my manuscript (after all those rejections, I’d better tidy it up a bit more) and work his or her backside off to get me published. After all, they’re on commission here. The more I sell, the more they pocket.

However, I won’t write this time. I’ll phone. Writing can mean a wait of days for a reply and I’ve had this finished manuscript on my hands for months, almost a year now that I come to think of it. And it’s been over five years since I first sat down to write it. That’s about 16% of my life, so it’s time to get a move on and stop pussyfooting around. But getting in touch with the agent is easier said than done. Is there no one to man the phones at these places? After numerous tries, I finally get through to a secretary at one of the agencies, a nice girl called Sandra. She says that Mr Smith will call me back. No, I’m sorry, he has gone to a writers’ convention and won’t be in for several days. No, I can’t say exactly when he’ll be back, but he will call at his earliest convenience… if possible. Well, he’s at a conference, moving with the bigwigs of the literary world, helping one of his beloved writers pick up a Pulitzer Prize or two. Is it just a coincidence that every agency I manage to contact has the same story to tell?

So, I’ll write after all. But my e-mails are either unanswered or result in brief replies that have that uncanny ring of the automatically generated message about them.

Dear Writer,

Thank you for your contact message and/or manuscript. Unfortunately, our agency does not handle this genre of work.

Dear Writer,

Thank you for your message. It is with regret that we inform you that we do not deal with science fiction manuscripts. Our agency specializes in other genres of literature.

Dear Writer,

Thank you for your message. I regret to inform you that at the moment we are not accepting children’s manuscripts. We suggest that you seek out an agency that specializes in this genre.

Genre! It’s all about genre. But nobody seems interested in my genres. I wrote that children’s story for my nephew not long after he was born, and he liked it. Snuggles the Kitten Goes to School. How could they turn that down? It's such a cute little story. But that was only a side line. How could no one be interested in my galactic empire story, with space ships crossing the cosmos at faster-than-light speeds, not to mention my pretty original definition of hyperspace? They don’t even want to look at it. I sent them the thirty pages with double spacing and 12-point Arial font that they requested, sure that it would whet their appetite and have them begging for more.

Phoning and writing, sending manuscripts. Another three months have gone by and no joy. I’ve spoken to Sandra and her equivalents at other agencies a hundred times. Although they are superficially friendly and speak in sympathetic tones, I get the feeling that they’ve been brushing people off with the same excuses for years. It is clear that none of the agencies I have contacted will deal with my genres. And in all this time, I've never managed to speak to the elusive agent in person. I think it would be easier to place a personal phone call to the Queen or the President of the United States than to get through to one of these people. I realize now that instead of writing books I should have been out there investing in telephone companies. Their shareholders must propose a special toast to literary agents at their meetings. That last bill was a whopper.

I wonder. Dozens of books for kids are published every year, but nobody wants to act as the agent for children’s writers. I remember reading in Tolkien’s biography that his manuscript for The Hobbit was sitting in a drawer unfinished, and some woman from the publisher drove all the way to Oxford to beg him to get it into a presentable state. He hadn’t published anything before and had no track record. Yet they implored him to get it done. Famous singers and politicians doodle stories for kiddies during long plane flights and get them published. My books are more than scribbles. They are all carefully revised, checked and ready for publication, but nobody wants them.

But forget about Snuggles the kitten. What I really don’t get is how anyone could resist my sci-fi story. OK, I admit that it might have started out sounding like an Asimov imitation, but I worked all that out of the text in the first rewrite and made it really original - all my own work, so to speak. I don’t think you can see Asimov in it at all now. But even if you could, that wouldn’t be all bad, would it? C. S. Lewis said that he was “influenced” by H. G. Wells, admitted it pretty openly in the foreword to Out of the Silent Planet. Why is it that Lewis is “influenced” and I’m “copying”? And isn't Perelandra just a reworking of the Book of Genesis? No one ever accused him of ripping off the Bible, although even my untrained eye could see it for what it was.

Although someone spotting the Asimov connection was once my main fear, that’s no longer the case. My chief concern now is trying to get someone to read my manuscript at all. If they would just take a look at it, they would see how good it is. However, now that I come to think of it, who are the people who work in publishing? I’ve never met or known a literary agent, or anyone who works for a literary agent. Not even a cleaner or tea lady. How come you never strike up a casual conversation with a literary agent at a bus stop or in a pub? Why do these people never seem to have families? Have you ever met someone who was related to a literary agent, a distant cousin even? It makes you wonder. I do, however, remember that article I read in a magazine at the doctor's the other day. As many as one hundred thousand people are estimated to be in the process of writing a book at any one time in the United Kingdom, and the vast majority will never see the light of day. One budding novelist said that the attraction to writing may lie in the fact that whereas a movie or play may involve prohibitive costs, a book requires nothing more than dedication and a good imagination. The growth in the use of desktop computers, which dispenses with the costly typing of the ten-fingered, has only helped increase that number. Desktop computers? Well, it was a pretty old magazine, the type that lies around the doctor's waiting room for years, but well, yes, that was basically what had crossed my mind when I had my first inspiration to write. I could literally turn nothing into something hugely profitable. Anyway, I'm letting my mind wander again, just like any true artist, I suppose. We love our own thoughts more than anything. But, to get back on track, it seems that, unlike real estate agents and travel agents, literary agents have no need to advertise at all. With all these hopeful writers out there, they have more on their plate than they can handle. In fact, they need to put that protective wall around themselves to ward off the likes of me. That's where the Sandras come in, patiently reeling off the same old excuses day in, day out. I wonder how Sandra got that job. I've never seen a literary agent advertise for a secretary. How do they keep desperate writers from posing as secretaries or other functionaries just to try and slip them a manuscript? Do these secretaries accept bribes? Here's a hundred notes, show this to your boss and tell him you’re convinced it's the next big thing. How do you break into that impenetrable world of publishing? Is the only way to get landed on the jury at a high-profile trial and get your big break that way? The jurors at those sensational murder trials always have book deals waiting for them at the end of it all. But surely that can't be the only road to fame. There are actually new writers who do get published, aren't there? I often see reviews with the words "first-time, promising young author" in them. Who are these people?

Now I’m thinking of that writer I saw on TV the other day. What was it he said? Right: “I finished my first novel and took it to my agent, who got in touch with HarperCollins….” They make it sound so easy. (And did he say that he had an agent even before he had finished his book?) Then there was the other guy who sent in his novel to a publisher and got a cheque for a quarter of a million the next week and then sold the movie rights to boot. And the woman who said that she was so sick of the indifference that she changed her publisher twice. Wow! If I could only get published once! How do they do it? How do they get into print? We hear stories about people who spend years in the publishing wilderness but finally get picked up. But then there are the others who just seem to glide into the business with minimum effort. What about Kazuo Ishiguro, who wrote The Remains of the Day? The blurb for one of his stories claimed that he was "an expert on Britain between the wars". Astonishing. He isn't even English and he was only born in 1954, so how can his company be so crass as to make such a claim? But he was published by the time he was thirty, and with a name that hardly rolls of the tongue. People go into the shop and say they want the book by that guy called, ah, er, Kizzy Something-or-other. Yet it's a best seller every time!

Well, that Yearbook was a waste of time, wasn’t it? I contacted every agent in the land and not even a whiff of interest. And my book is so damn good! They all seem to want to hook already established writers. That’s what Sandra hinted at in one of our last conversations when she was desperately trying to get me to stop calling. But that’s like the old first job syndrome. How can you get experience without a job, and how can you get a job without experience? Anyway, so much for Sandra & Co. You know, if she had just said in the first place that they weren’t interested, then that would have been fine. I would have taken a gentle hint, right? Well, probably not. I would have said, no, you’ve got to see this book, it’s great. Just read it. I would have sent it in and pestered them no matter what they had said. At least now I’ve made sure. I sent it to them in the way they asked with their three-centimetre margins and double-spacing and twelve-point type. Cost me a bloody fortune too. I also spent days working on what they call a query. They say that the query is everything when it comes to approaching an agent. It has to be well written and convincing, something that will make the agent want to sign you. Isn't that a proposal? It must be the jargon of the business, because to me a query is a little question or doubt to be cleared up. They want to know all about you and how you started writing and God knows what else. Hey, it's my book I want you to look at, not me. Read my book, please, and forget about me! Anyway, just to make them happy, I prepared what I imagined to be a great "query", even though they never actually said what should be in it beyond a few personal details and an outline of my story. Be creative? Does that mean witty or serious or something else entirely? I have no idea really. Be dynamic? Well, I tried... And as usual all I got in reply were the same old standard rejections. Another dead end, but now at least I know for sure that I’ve been barking up the wrong tree. There must be another way.

I’ve decided to try searching beyond our borders through the internet. I type in "publishing" and "literary agents". There are some help sites for writers.

Nobody needs another Tom Clancy or Danielle Steel. Try to develop your own unique style and present it in a positive light.

OK, nothing wrong with that. I'm well past emulating Asimov. But present it to whom? Nobody wants to read my stuff.

But wait, what is this?

MANUSCRIPTS WANTED

All subjects considered.

Vantage Press, New York

Now, I may be desperate, but I’m not stupid. This is a vanity publisher. A serious publisher is selective, and certainly doesn’t consider just anything. Although I’m a bit new to this game, I’m not that daft. Let’s try to find literary agents online. Remember that woman on the BBC a few weeks ago? She said that her business ideas had failed to find a backer in Britain, so she took the project to America. “The States are wonderful. You have an idea there and people just throw money at you.” Now that sounds more like it. You see, Britain is a pretty conservative country after all and the only people who get published probably have connections in the business. Otherwise, publishers and agents just throw your manuscript in with the other rejects on the slush pile. Yes, I’ve learned that term by now. Slush pile. That’s what they call unsolicited manuscripts. Never mind that people slave over those things for years, we’ll call them the slush pile. It’s all right for them, sitting so high and mighty, picking and choosing what to publish, like Steve Rubell outside Studio 54. So, I’ll abandon the idea of a traditional British publisher and find someone abroad who is willing to take a gamble on a newcomer with a fresh idea.

This is more like it, the real deal. What we have here as the result of an online search are literary agents who are on the lookout for new writers. There are even those little ads at the top of the page that people pay to have come up as the first results of a search. I know that every time someone clicks on those, the literary agents will have to pay a fee to the search engine. I can only conclude that these people must be really serious about getting new writers. I note that all of these sponsored links are American companies. That’s what I said before. The American Dream. And, like an oasis in the desert, I find what I am looking for:

A small family-based company that can help you bridge the gap between a manuscript and a book,

or

a tightly knit sympathetic group of people who have been there, know what you are feeling and can steer you through the bewildering maze of the publishing community.

This is right up my street! And it only gets better. Look! They say you can submit your manuscript by e-mail. Partial or whole manuscripts may be submitted by e-mail in Word for Windows format, PDF file or just about any electronic format known to man. They’re obviously out to save time and costs. Remember those British agents, all so fussy with their double-spacing and font sizes on A4 paper. It cost me a bomb to keep sending out all that stuff, but now here’s someone who’s going to cut through all that red tape and enter the twenty-first century.

Please allow up to a week for consideration. We promise that we WILL get back to you.

Sounds fair enough. After all I’ve been through an extra couple of days won’t make much difference. And I’ve got my day job to keep me busy anyway.

Three days later and there’s a reply in my e-mail. Hmmm, that was quick. Too quick, really. They probably just took one look at the first page and threw it out. Well, here goes nothing!

Dear Mark,

Wait a minute! What is this? They’ve used my name. I’m no longer a Sir/Madam or even a Writer, I’m me!

Thank you for submitting your manuscript entitled 'Hyperquake'.

Once again, kudos! They’ve actually named my manuscript… and correctly too. So, someone has at least read the title!

We were all very impressed by your work and would be happy to have you on board as a member of our ever growing list of successful authors. We see a very bright future in our working relationship.

I can’t believe it. Pinch me! I must be dreaming. They want my work, mine. It’s been a long time coming, although I’m not alone in that respect. Didn’t J. K. Rowling say that she got turned down 23 times before she got Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone published? Didn’t Tolkien take years to get The Lord of the Rings into print? Wasn’t Mozart considered a failure when he died penniless? Let's not even mention Van Gogh! All you need is someone to recognize your potential, your innate talent which is unrecognized by conventional minds that just want more of the same. And did you see that they said "author" rather than "writer"? That is of paramount importance. An author is someone who has published a book. A writer is just another word for someone who is chronically unemployed or who will never see a story in print. And they called me an author. Author! A sop to my vanity, or a statement of fact? I much prefer the latter. Remember that Agatha Christie tale Death on the Nile? Well, there was a jewel thief in that book called Tim Allerton. On the surface, he passed himself off as a writer, even had a fake manuscript in his room to make people think he was writing something. A fraud in other words, a pretender; as I was until a moment ago. But now I'm an author! I love to say that: I am an author!

Please click here to download and print the enclosed contract.

A contract! The time has come to put pen to paper. You always hear of celebrities signing record-breaking contracts. Now it’s my turn!

Our fee is a modest 15% of all contracts and/or royalties, including commissioning for motion pictures.

We’ve hit the big league, baby! Movies! OK, Hitchcock is no longer around to direct it, but maybe Spielberg, Scorcese or just some new director looking for his big break. And if I make a million, that’s a hundred and fifty grand to the agent. Well worth it, I say. So, where will I build that summer home? I saw that beautiful place up in the Orkney Islands last year; at a bargain price too (not that I’ll have to worry much about cost anymore). The perfect place to retire to and write my second novel: peace and quiet, a little lighthouse on the neighbouring island; the right sort of place for spiritual inspiration. I can see it all now...

We trust that you will find the terms of the contract fair and acceptable and we look forward to a long and profitable working relationship with you.

Professional, but on a first name basis. Just what I wanted. I needed someone who wasn’t too stuck up or insistent on formalities. On the other hand, I also want someone who’ll show that they're taking this seriously. Anyway, let’s get that contract printed, signed and posted ASAP! Then I’ll call my boss. Better still, I’ll go and do the walk in. That’s what George from Seinfeld called it, wasn't it? The walk in, the great feeling of telling your boss what a pig he is and how you’re not going to miss him! Of course, he also mentioned the walk out, which was not so good because that’s when you realize how much dough you’re losing. Well, that’s not going to be the case with me, cos I’m in the money, baby!

Click and wait. I wonder who’ll play my leading character in the movie. That cute blonde woman I saw on ITV last night. She was pretty much what I had in mind while I was writing. Quite a striking resemblance, actually. Ah, the contract. Hold on! That can’t be right. They’ll only pay me $3,200 up front? Wait! They want me to pay $3,200 to them? That can’t be right. I’ll send them an e-mail at once. There must be some misunderstanding here.

Dear Mark,

Thank you for your e-mail. Yes, it is quite customary nowadays for an agent to request some financing from new writers. Our agency incurs a great deal of expenses in our tireless efforts to find the best possible deal for our writers in the run up to signing with a publisher…

Well, that’s a bit of a blow, isn’t it? And I can’t help getting the sneaking suspicion that the first-name terms and friendly overall tone of our correspondence were all building up to this. Plus the contract mentions only my obligation to pay, with no guarantee of success on their part. On the other hand, let’s not get too cynical. It would be unrealistic to expect them to make an airtight promise of success, even considering their hyperbolic advertising. Nevertheless, they did mention, did they not, that I would become part of their ever growing list of successful authors. I wonder who these successful authors are. Of course, I write more than I read, and America’s a big place, so I don’t know much about what goes on over there. Someone who sells, say, twenty thousand books in the US is probably considered only moderately successful. But if I could sell that, with royalties of three dollars a book, that would be 60K a year. Not much to a big shot writer with his beach-front home in Malibu or Honolulu, but to a guy like me it would be great compared to what I make in my humdrum job over here. I’ll send an e-mail asking for a few names. After all, I can't afford to look down the nose at this thing. Compared with the millions they are sure I can make, this up-front fee of $3,200 doesn't seem too much to ask, does it? Well, it won't seem too much, it won't seem like anything at all once I've got those millions in my hands, but for the time being it is a pretty hefty sum to come up with.

I’ve been really busy at work the past two, no wait, three weeks and it’s only now that I realize that they’re dragging their feet in answering my question. I’m not asking for an exhaustive list of writers, just a few names. Then I can go to online stores around the world and see their books. Wait, what a coincidence! Just as I log on, there’s an e-mail from them.

Dear Mark,

We are still waiting for your signed contract so that we can begin our efforts to get your excellent manuscript into print. Please forward the signed contract as soon as possible. Our banking details are given below.

But what about the ever growing list of successful authors? Nothing on that. Although they’ve sent me their banking details several times now, there seems to be considerable difficulty in writing out a few of those names. Nor is there any mention of my proposal to deduct the $3,200 fee from the future royalties that they are so sure will come instead of paying now.

Dear Mark,

Our staff works full time to get the best deal for you and all of our authors. Contracts have been signed with several New York publishers such as Vantage Press and others as far afield as Canada and Europe. Other agreements have been made with Xlibris and iUniverse.

Passive voice. Contracts have been signed. I’m not a big fan of this use of the passive voice. It seems to make everything look so vague. Still no names of authors, only publishers. And I don’t remember ever reading a book published by any of the companies mentioned, although I’ve seen that name Vantage several times in online ads. This is all beginning to stink. Xlibris and iUniverse are print-on-demand companies. They’ll print anything you like, for a fee, with no need for an agent.

Well, it’s a long weekend and I’m going to see what I can find out about this. The world is at my fingertips.

And now what I secretly knew all along has been confirmed. There are vanity agents, forwarding manuscripts to vanity publishers, most of them in cahoots. And it turns out that my agent has already been indicted under other pseudonyms for fraud. Hey, I have to stop saying “my agent”, though it did sound good, didn't it? My agent. My publisher. Too good to be true. This guy has raked in hundreds of thousands of dollars from desperate writers. At least I found out in time. Look at all these people on Writer Beware. One woman sold her car to pay the signing on fee with this crummy so-called agent. And even when the money was sent to the vanity publishers, more often than not the writers didn't even get the thousand copies of their books that they had been forced to pay for. All scams. Searching the internet, the same names come up all the time, all conning people out of their hard earned cash, people willing to do anything in the hope that they can see their books in print: The Deering Literary Agency, Publish America, The Children's Literary Agency, The Woodside Agency, Lisa Hackney (a.k.a. Melanie Mills, a.k.a. Elisabeth Von Hullessem, a.k.a. Roswitha Von Meerscheidt-Hullessem), Desert Rose, Janet Kay, all scam artists charging reading fees, set-up fees, representation fees, consultancy fees, up-front management fees, editing fees, this fee, that fee. You can even hire a writer to prepare your all-important query so that you can attract an agent, who might attract a publisher, who might market your book so that someone out there might read it someday. Some of these scammers have been sent to prison, but return under another name. The "small family-based companies" are often husband and wife teams that met through their parole officer. One woman was so deep in it that she tried to fake an accident and have herself declared legally dead before relocating and starting up her schemes again elsewhere. You could spend a year reading about it and only just scratch the surface.

To cut a long story short, it looks as if I won’t be doing the walk in after all. The publishing world is not for me. My dreams of being part of it have crumbled to dust overnight. Some people seem to waltz in there so easily, but I’m not one of them. So far, I’ve spent several hundred pounds on sending manuscripts no one will read all over the place to publishers and agents who simply are not interested. I wasted days and weeks and months writing that silly book to begin with. I should have known better and spent that time with my friends and family instead of sitting slaving away over that manuscript.

And there was that web site with tips for writers (not authors):

Few writers realize that the demand for fiction is not as great as it once was. Non-fiction easily outsells fiction nowadays.

I wish I'd read that five years ago. But maybe it wouldn't have made much difference. After all, Hyperquake was such an appealing title to work with. I remember that day so clearly and how it just zipped into my head out of the blue and after a couple of restless nights I had the story all built around that word. And I still believe it could be a best seller, if only they would take the time to read it. Then they would see. Then they would have to agree with me.

The Mystery of the Sinister Scarecrow

Conventional wisdom among 3I readers is that the good books in the series ceased after the publication of #28, Deadly Double. However, in February of 2013, I read the 29th in the series, Sinister Scarecrow, for the first time in 28 years. I have to say that it has its good points and is actually a pretty good story. It centres around Letitia Radford, a rich girl who has returned to her family's mansion in California. Nobody seems to want her around and she is being plagued by two old childhood fears: scarecrows and bugs, of which she is mortally afraid. Across the street is a museum filled with priceless paintings. The boys blunder onto the scene and Jupiter is attacked by a near-sighted man who threatens to kill him with a rock and calls him a scarecrow. This man turns out to be an entomologist who is researching a new strain of ants. The mystery is: who is the sinister scarecrow that is haunting Miss Radford and what is he up to? There are a lot of suspicious characters about: Mr. and Mrs. Burroughs, the new houseman and maid; a mysterious watcher in an abandoned old house who is watching the mansion; the curator of the museum; and and even Mrs. Chumley, Letitia's ageing servant, who is in a wheelchair. The story is fast-paced and the boys do their detective work. But it is impossible for them to pinpoint who the scarecrow really is, as every suspect has an alibi. The solution is quite surprising and keeps us guessing right to the end. 

This story has a number of good points. First of all, the three boys are given a lot to do. Some of M.V. Carey's stories concentrate too much on Jupiter, but in this case they are all kept busy. Another point, and one that is unusual in the 3I books in general, is that there are a number of red herrings and many suspects. Although the reader is given a lot of information, the solution to the case is not obvious and the story is a real page turner.

But there are negative points too. The mysterious watcher in the abandoned house turns out to be the pool maintenance man who was fired but came back to keep an eye on the women of the house because he was worried about them. That's taking the loyal servant thing a bit too far. Chief Reynolds is on the scene in one of his grumpy moods and gets angry with the boys for taking the case even though he suggested them to their client in the first place. And there is a scene where Jupiter is "attacked" by the so-called killer ants. This scene is not very well written and lacks credibility. It was obviously included as a page filler and was unnecessary in an already crowded scenario. Furthermore, Jupiter doesn't make the connection that the criminal activity that is going on could be connected to the priceless treasures in the nearby museum.

One positive point worth adding is the scarecrow himself. In other reviews I've read, the use of the scarecrow is criticized. This is indeed a persistent trait in M.V. Carey's 3I books (Monster Mountain, Haunted Mirror and especially Wandering Caveman), this insistence on forcing a mysterious phenomenon into the plot just to give it an exciting title. But here the scarecrow is not as unbelievable as you might imagine. He plays on Miss Radford's childhood fears to keep her from going to the police and also provides Jupiter with the important clue as to who is really behind the whole crime that is being committed in the story. So in this case I would say the use of the phenomenon is justified.

So there we have it. It might be fairer to say that #29 should mark the turning point in the Three Investigators series. It has a few flaws, but is quite a good read.

Robots and Empire

In 1990 an American missionary who had lived in Curitiba for years was going back to the States and he gave a few boxes of books to a friend of mine. As the books were all in English, she passed them along to me. These boxes contained a real treasure trove. Among the many works were the three volumes of C. S. Lewis’ Space Trilogy, which I had wanted to read for years. Once I had devoured these, I turned to the others. A whole row of books bore the name Asimov on the spine. I was just twenty-three years old and had only vaguely heard of the Good Doctor, but some of the titles piqued my curiosity and I began to read them. There were three of the five Foundation books. I enjoyed them, especially Foundation and Earth. At the end of this story, the heroes meet Daneel Olivaw, a 20,000-year-old robot. I had no idea that Daneel had featured in many of Asimov’s other stories. However, I was soon to find out that he was one of the author’s most popular characters. A couple of months later, I was at the Ghignone bookshop on Rua das Flores in the centre of Curitiba. They had a small bookcase of imported books (quite a luxury in those days) and I noticed that there was a title by Asimov: Robots and Empire. The blurb on the back informed potential readers that “Daneel has the finest mind in history. Giskard can adjust human emotions. Can two conscience-stricken robots save the Galaxy?” I was intrigued and immediately snapped up this Panther paperback. My reading of Asimov in late 1990 was somewhat patchy. By this time, besides those three Foundation novels and some of his non-fiction works such as Counting the Eons and Life and Energy, I had read a number of his short stories, including The Bicentennial Man, Feminine Intuition and Liar! So I was familiar with the Three Laws of Robotics. Now Robots and Empire would serve as my induction into the Robot novels. A year or so later I came across The Robots of Dawn at a bookshop in Mueller Shopping Centre in Curitiba. In 1992, on a trip to Scotland, I bought The Caves of Steel and The Naked Sun at John Menzies on Argyle Street, thus completing the collection. The Robot novels are very special to me. There is some light-hearted debate among Asimov enthusiasts about which of his series was the best. Many readers prefer the Foundation series, and a subset of these readers prefers the first three that were penned in the 1950s over the two novels that continued the series in the 1980s (so to these people my preference for Foundation and Earth would seem like heresy). I love both series, but easily prefer the Robot books.

Robots and Empire is unusual for an Asimov novel because it is told mostly in flashback rather than in sequence. The story begins on the planet Aurora two hundred years after the events of the previous book, The Robots of Dawn. Gladia is sad to hear that her home planet of Solaria has been deserted. Levular Mandamus, an underling of the still bitter Kelden Amadiro, visits Gladia eager to find out if he is really the descendant of Elijah Baley. Giskard senses that Mandamus and Amadiro are up to something and he and Daneel are determined to find out what it is. Gladia also receives a visit from Baley’s many-times great grandson, who sweeps the middle-aged Gladia into space for a series of adventures. Mandamus and Amadiro hatch their plot. Dr. Fastolfe’s daughter Vasilia works out that Giskard is telepathic. We are also told details of the deaths of Elijah Baley and Dr. Fastolfe and other events that have taken place in the past two hundred years. The story climaxes with a visit to Earth, with Amadiro and Mandamus finally coming head to head against Daneel and Giskard. As an added bonus, Asimov manages to correct a scientific error he made in his first novel, Pebble in the Sky, and also tie the Robot series in with the Galactic Empire stories and the Foundation saga.

This is one of my favourite books of all time. Asimov was at the zenith of his writing skills in the mid 1980s (yes, I know, fans of classic fifties sci-fi will disagree, but that’s my opinion all the same). Everything about this book is praiseworthy. The characterization, the plot, the way the human race with its rivalry between the Spacers and Settlers has developed over two centuries and all the little details about the fate of the protagonists of the previous stories all lend a special touch to this book. The temporal and spatial scope of the plot also deserves to be mentioned. The main events of the other three Robot stories take place on one planet over the space of a few days. However, here we are taken on a journey to a number of both Spacer and Settler planets and also Earth itself at many points in time. The plot is richly detailed with observations on the political developments over the past twenty decades and the poignant demises of Baley and Fastolfe.

Along with The End of Eternity, this was Isaac Asimov’s greatest story. I like the way that it builds up but does not have every chapter end with a cliffhanger. You can take your time with the story, savouring it and absorbing the details, knowing that something special awaits at the end. It is a book that can be read over and over again, a real treat.

Time Travel in Science Fiction

When we think of science fiction, names like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke spring to mind. As a result, most people imagine that science fiction originated in the twentieth century, but it did not. Surprisingly, the first science fiction story, The Man in the Moone, was written by Francis Godwin in 1638, followed by Cyrano de Bergerac’s The Comical History of the States and Empires of the Moon in 1659. Of course, these stories were not referred to as science fiction at the time. That term was first coined in 1851 by William Whewell in A Little Earnest Book Upon A Great Old Subject. And it is probably just as well that the term had not come into use in Godwin’s day, as the stories were not very scientific at all. His hero, Domingo Gonsales, is hauled to the moon in a chariot by twenty-five special flying geese called gansas. There is breathable air between the Earth and the moon and the geese are unaffected by the laws of gravity. But the story stretched the imagination beyond the restrictions of space and contemporary technology, marking the beginning of a genre which, over the next three and a half centuries, would bring us robots, inter-sidereal travel and galactic empires, with countless writers striving to bring us their visions of the future.

Time travel took a little longer to arrive on the scene than space travel. It is commonly believed that H. G. Wells’ Time Machine was the first time travel story, but it was actually over a hundred years earlier, in 1771, that Louis Sebastien Mercier, a French author, published Memoirs of the Year 2500 (originally entitled Mémoires de l’An 2440). Again, it may surprise you to know that the first time travel stories all involved trips to the future rather than the past. And there were no gadgets and flying cars like the DeLorean in Back to the Future. In fact, there was no scientific explanation for the temporal shifts at all. The protagonist would fall into a deep sleep and awake in a future Utopian society. Interestingly, most early sci-fi stories, whether space or time travel, involved the idea that outside of our own sinful world of the present, we were bound to come across communities aspiring to perfection, although dystopian societies did occasionally pop up in stories.

In 1838, the first story about a dream trip to the past was published. It was called Missing One’s Coach and the author is unknown. The anonymous narrator drops off into a deep sleep and wakes up in eighth-century Britain. The first story using a mechanical time travel device was Edward Page Mitchell’s The Clock That Went Backwards, which was published in 1881. In this story, two boys find that when they turn a clock back, it transports them to sixteenth-century Holland.

However, the first time travel story that really captured people’s imaginations and gained a wide audience was H. G. Wells’ The Time Machine. This book was first published as a schools edition in 1888 under the title The Chronic Argonauts, before being revised and expanded for re-release in 1895. It was an instant success. The time traveller invents a time machine and journeys to the future. Instead of a Utopia, he finds that the fate of the human race has taken a quite different turn. Herbert George Wells, who was born in Bromley near London in 1866 and died in 1946, also wrote The Invisible Man and War of the Worlds.

In the twentieth century, science fiction continued to flourish. Nevertheless, some people cringe even today when they hear the name used. Lots of great sci-fi has been written, but some quite inferior work has been published too. Time travel stories often get bogged down in paradoxes, such as altering history by killing people in the past, a theme that first arose in Nathan Schachner’s Ancestral Voices in 1933. A popular plot is the so-called Grandfather Paradox. What would happen if someone were to go back in time and kill his grandfather before he sired his children? There are basically three answers to this puzzle, none of them particularly satisfactory: a) the hero disappears after killing his grandfather as he cannot exist in the future (although you might ask how, if he does not exist, he can come back and kill his grandfather, and it is also necessary to wipe out all of the grandfather’s other descendants, which causes no end of complications); b) the hero returns to his own time, but no one recognises him (i.e. he is in a parallel universe); c) as he has violated causality, the universe explodes and ends (hard to believe that one small change to Earth’s past could result in the destruction of an entire universe).

Science fiction has also earned itself a bit of a bad name because of the “Pulps”. These are magazines that have been around since the early twentieth century and specialise in short stories. Many budding sci-fi writers got their first break with publications like Amazing Stories and Astounding. But with deadlines to meet, editors often found themselves forced to take some shoddier stories to fill up space, thus soiling the reputation of science fiction. Nevertheless, it is only fair to say that without the pulps, sci-fi would never have become anywhere near as big as it did.

Even so, there are plenty of good stories out there. For space travel and human societies on other planets, you cannot beat Isaac Asimov. His Robot and Foundation novels are the greatest sci-fi classics and in my opinion his End of Eternity is the best time travel story ever written. He skilfully avoids getting up in the clichés and paradox traps that other writers have fallen into so easily. A group of individuals called The Eternals live outside of time and constantly manipulate past, present and future in order to make the world the safest, most welcoming place possible. But their constant refinements of time mean that individuals, groups and whole societies are changed, replaced or simply wiped out. A lesser writer would never have been able to keep track of it all.

However, Asimov is not alone. Other writers have also produced laudable (if more straightforward) time travel stories, sometimes with a little humour. Paul Nahin’s Newton’s Gift (1979) tells of a time traveller, Wallace John Steinhope, who believes that revered mathematician Isaac Newton would have worked much faster had he not been obliged to spend so much time on lengthy calculations, so he goes back to meet his hero and present him with a calculator. The devoutly religious Newton is suspicious of the device with its fiery red numbers and thinks it is a tool of Satan. The hero punches in two numbers to divide at random and the answer comes up 666. Newton believes it is the work of the devil and grows angry, sending Steinhope scurrying back to his own time.

There is also a sub-genre of time travel called Alternate History or Allohistory. In these stories, a time traveller can view alternative pasts or futures or change them by providing people with special knowledge. Common choices for this theme are viewing the world with Hitler as the victor of World War II and an earlier fall of the Roman Empire. It was in Murray Leinster’s Sidewise in Time (1934) that this theme was first explicitly approached. His protagonist can move from one alternative history to another and sees the Romans conquering America and the Confederate armies winning the American civil war. He also wishes to use his scientific knowledge to set himself up as an emperor of a timeline with a less scientifically developed society. But, thankfully, not all time travel stories are centred around tyrants and madmen out to kill their ancestors. Sometimes the time traveller’s intention is merely to observe history. An excellent example of this is the multi-volume Caballo de Troya (1984-2013) by Spanish author Juan José Benitez, which has enjoyed huge success and been translated into a number of languages. An American military officer, code-named Jason, goes back in time to observe the life of Jesus Christ.

Some writers have successfully reverted to the psychological time travel of dreams and hypnotism. Richard Matheson returns to this concept in his book Bid Time Return (1975), which was later made into the cult movie Somewhere in Time, starring Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour. And in Alison Uttley's A Traveller in Time, the protagonist believes that she inhabits two time zones simultaneously, flitting between them almost as she pleases. Other good stories are Michael Moorcock’s The Time Dwellers and A Sound of Thunder by Ray Bradbury. Robert Heinlein has interesting takes on the theme in By His Bootstraps and The Door into Summer, and paradoxes are handled with dexterity in Up the Line by Robert Silverberg. There are literally hundreds of stories that involve time travel, not only in books but also in movies and on television, too many to mention here. On film, in addition to the Back to the Future series and Somewhere in Time, there are movies like The Terminator, Time After Time, The Lake House and 12 Monkeys, all of which have a unique take on time travel. On television there is Dr Who, The Time Tunnel, Quantum Leap and Stargate. Some of the most popular episodes of Star Trek involve time travel, including Little Green Men and The City on the Edge of Forever. An interesting BBC Play for Today also deserves to be mentioned: The Flipside of Dominick Hide. In this 1980 production, Dominick Hide travels from the twenty-second century to London in 1980 to meet his great-great-grandfather. He cannot locate his ancestor, but he is befriended by a group of people, one of whom is an attractive young woman called Jane. They have an affair and Jane becomes pregnant and decides to call her son Dominick. Yes, Dominick is not only a man of the 22nd century; he is also his own great-great-grandfather. This play was so popular that the BBC produced a follow-up in 1982 called Another Flip for Dominick.

These are just a few of the books, movies and TV shows on the theme of time travel. There are many more. Many stories of the genre are weak, with gaping holes in the plot and badly handled paradoxes. But a good, well-plotted time travel story is a delight to read and easily compensates for its poorer counterparts. I look forward to enjoying many more time travel stories in the future.

The Clock That Went Backwards

I gave this story by Edward Page Mitchell 5 stars, not as a reader in 2014 but as a reader of 130 years ago. In a world without Asimov, Heinlein, Silverberg or even Wells, a world without Star Trek and Back to the Future, this must have been something really new and fresh. It was, I believe, the first ever time travel story that made use of a mechanical device to transport people to the past. Before that, time travel had always been conducted through falling asleep and waking up in another epoch. A nice little story that must have given many people an enjoyable afternoon in the 1880s.

Learning Teaching

I've been an EFL teacher in Brazil for 29 years now. When I worked at schools, this book was used in dozens of teachers' meetings and other courses by people who saw it as a sort of teaching Bible. I absolutely detested the sessions and the book itself. Bubbling with drivel and abounding in nonsense, this is one that I will happily leave to gather dust. The problem with people who write books like this and give courses using it is that they haven't been in a real classroom for decades. At one boring course in 1998, when the lecturer was trying to impart to us her enthusiasm for one of the pointless "tips" given in this book, I interrupted her to ask when was the last time she had actually taught real students in a regular course. "In 1971," she said proudly. I guess that just about says it all. Another instructor, who used "isn't it?" as a question tag for everything (This would be helpful, isn't it? I know you all enjoy this, isn't it?) was another big fan, who seemed to delight in having a native writer lend creedence to her stupid ideas. Give me David Crystal any day.

The Mystery of the Missing Mermaid

Last night after a long hard day I was too tired to go out and decided to spend the evening catching up on The Three Investigators. Earlier in the week I had begun to read the 36th book in the series, The Missing Mermaid. The story is written somewhat in the style of an Agatha Christie novel, with lots of suspects and red herrings and the crook only being revealed well towards the end. The boys have come to Venice, CA so that Bob can do some research for a school paper. They befriend the people who work and live at a little shopping centre called Mermaid Court, owned by Clark Burton, a retired actor. The five-year-old son of the woman who owns the book shop disappears and his dog is found dead and dumped in a garbage can down the street. The boys offer their services and begin to nose around. A lot of suspicious activity is going on. Mooch, a young unwashed busboy at the café, despite his unsavoury manners, has a way with animals and is said to take in stray dogs. Indeed, he has about five dogs in his back yard, but when a man brings him another dog, he calls it a mutt and tells the man to get lost. An elderly resident, Miss Peabody, is always poking around other people’s lives. She is a bit of a gossip and seems to have it in for Clark Burton. The former actor is an unusual man who seems to make up stories about his past, and changes them to suit his needs. The boys investigate and uncover a dognapping scheme, art theft and the whereabouts of the little boy. There is a lot of action and detecting, and the story rounds off with an exciting ride in a balloon and Jupiter emptying a suitcase full of dollars over the town.

This was the twelfth 3I book penned by Mary Virginia Carey. It was published in 1984. The plot is excellent and the writing is quite good, but not up to the same standard as her classic Singing Serpent and Death Trap Mine. The story is a page turner and once the action takes off after a slow start it is impossible to put it down. The only problem is the characterization and style. The three boys normally have very distinct characters, but here their roles are pretty much interchangeable, with only Pete being recognizable in part. Jupe does not seem to be as smart as usual and does not use his erudite speech and long words. This may have been the author responding to critiques of her previous books, some of which could have been called Jupiter Jones mysteries. Pete and Bob did not play much of a role in The Mystery of the Magic Circle, for example. Here it is obvious that the story has been carefully structured to give each investigator an equal role, and Jupiter has been neglected a little for this purpose. As for style, the text could have benefitted by more careful editing and more variety of grammar. At one point in a space of six lines, there are sentences with “Mooch had stopped near an open convertible… Mooch stared at the dog… Mooch started to talk to the dog… Mooch dug into the bag.” The style does seem rushed at times.

Another point that deserves to be mentioned is the mermaid. Although the cover shows the boys looking at a real mermaid perched on a rock, this scene does not occur in the book. Most 3I stories have the boys investigating an unusual phenomenon like a Green Ghost or Screaming Clock. M. V. Carey seems to experience difficulty when it comes to including this element in her stories. In the Secret of the Haunted Mirror, the ghost in the mirror and the explanation for it are very weak, even pointless. The same goes for The Mystery of the Wandering Caveman. In the present story, the mermaid is a little statue that gets broken in Clark Burton’s store and the boys notice that it is missing when they pay a second visit to the actor. It is in no way the focus of the mystery. But to call it the Mystery of the Little Lost Boy wouldn’t have sounded very interesting to potential readers.

However, there are also positive things to say about the story. The minor characters are interesting and the way we are kept guessing is fun. I enjoyed the balloon ride at the end and also the comedy that was included in the story, with Jupiter getting stuck in a dumbwaiter shaft and Bob and Pete having to rescue him. Worthington the chauffeur, a firm favourite with the readers, also puts in an appearance.

All told, this is a good little mystery and one of the brighter spots in the series at a time when it was in decline. Only three years later, The Three Investigators series would be cancelled after the publication of the 43rd story. It is not brilliant, but is easily better than some of Ms. Carey’s more recent efforts such as Scar Faced Beggar and Blazing Cliffs, and well worth the read.

Missing Mermaid Paperback

Armada paperback edition from 1986.

The End of Eternity

Published in 1955, The End of Eternity is one of Isaac Asimov’s finest novels. I have read it several times. It is a fascinating story that is relatively easy to follow, but it also sticks in your mind and makes you think about the implications of time travel, altering history and causality paradoxes.

Eternity

The story revolves around an organization called Eternity. Its members, the Eternals, exist outside of time and observe the history of the earth like one huge canvas stretching over approximately seven million years. They control time from the 27th to the 70,000th century. Its members are culled out of Time and replaced when they die. They begin their careers as Cubs and then become Observers. Their work as Observers will define whether or not they will be given a promotion to a higher rank. Those who don’t make the cut spend the rest of their lives in maintenance, looking after the machinery and time travel kettle shafts. Those who are successful are divided into four ranks: Communications, Sociologists, Life-Plotters and Technicians, hoping that they will later become Computers. Those with the most eminent careers are eventually given the title of Senior Computer and appointed to the powerful Allwhen Council that rules Eternity. And everyone is identified by the colour of their shoulder emblems: red double-headed arrow on a black background for Maintenance; blue bar on white background for Communications; solid white for an Observer; blue for a sociologist; green for a Life-plotter; rose red for a Technician; and yellow for a Computer. Most of the members are men due to the fact that removing a woman from Time is far more likely to produce a change in history than removing a man. When first established, Eternity went about solving such problems as deforestation and trade of anti-cancer serums. Centuries that had heavy pollution, for instance, were saved by Eternity transporting fresh topsoil from other, cleaner times. But it was not long before the Eternals discovered Reality Changes. In the early days when Eternity stretched no farther upwhen than the 50th century, Senior Computer Henry Wadsman prevented a war by removing the brake from a politician’s car a few years before the conflict began. From then on, the goal of the Eternals was to make human life as comfortable as possible, preventing wars and diseases and even trying to stamp out smoking. As physiotime passes for centuries and centuries, generations of new Eternals tweak and tinker with Time over and over again, all in the name of improving the lot of humanity.

However, there is a downside. It might happen that a Change (with a capital C) results in a great work of literature never being written or a talented musician never being born or becoming a plumber instead. In that case, the original works of these people are stored in the libraries of Eternity. And it also happens that human beings never achieve successful space travel. Many Changes to history involve stamping out adventures into the heavens. In one scene of the book, when a Change takes place, the observers see an enormous, shiny space ship turn into a rusting wreck. Eternity views space travel as a waste of resources that prevents mankind from achieving the greatest good for all.

Some members of Eternity also ponder and write about the paradoxes of time travel. What would happen should a man travel in time to visit himself as a younger or even an older man? What if an Eternal were to return to his own time after a Reality Change and meet the new version of himself that exists as an analogue in the wake of the Change?

And so this work continues, with Eternity manipulating Reality and pondering the philosophical issues involved, all the while making sure that the inhabitants of the earth do not realize that the Changes are taking place. Humanity is only dimly aware of the time travellers, believing that their function is trade. But as the book unfolds, it is revealed that Eternity must guarantee its own existence by the closing of a bizarre time loop.

The Characters and the Plot

The leading character in the book is newly promoted Technician Andrew Harlan, who discovers that the very existence of Eternity lies in his hands. The other main protagonists are Senior Computer Laban Twissel, dean of the Allwhen Council, Noÿs, the mystery woman of the 482nd century, a newly recruited overage Cub called Brinsley Sheridan Cooper from the 78th century and Computer Hobbe Finge, Harlan’s superior who apparently has it in for him. Technicians are the least popular Eternals, looked upon as those who engineer the Changes and alter the personalities and lives of the unsuspecting humans on earth. Consequently, Technicians are shunned. Although all of Eternity is geared to making changes, strangely enough the Technicians are the scapegoats, taking the brunt of the blame for callously altering or doing away with the lives of billions (“Cold as a Technician’s heart” and “A trillion personalities changed, a Technician’s yawn” are common sayings in Eternity).

Harlan begins as the ideal Eternal, but with an unusual interest in primitive history, i.e., history before the establishment of Eternity in the 27th. Originally from the 95th century and stationed in the 575th, he is dedicated to his work and disapproves of women in the organization, believing them to be a distraction. If Eternals wish to have a girlfriend, they must apply for liaisons with women in Time, and all applications must go through the council. Yet, despite being over thirty, Harlan has never applied for a liaison. But now Computer Finge has recruited Noÿs Lambent out of time to work as his secretary. Noÿs is a beautiful girl with long, black hair and seductive perfume. Despite a few feeble attempts to avoid her, Harlan is assigned to work in her century and inevitably falls in love with her.

In the meantime, he is surprised to find that he has become the object of interest of Senior Computer Twissel, the chain-smoking head of the Allwhen Council. Harlan is made Twissel’s personal technician and introduced to the twenty-four year old Cub, Brinsley Sheridan Cooper. As Cubs are usually recruited at the age of fifteen, Harlan is somewhat taken aback by this, but nevertheless agrees to teach primitive history to Cooper, who has to be taught as much as possible about the times prior to the establishment of Eternity. Cooper is also being taught a crammed crash course in mathematics and temporal engineering.

Harlan’s suspicions are aroused and he does a little investigating into the life of the legendary Vikkor Mallansohn of the 24th century, the first person to build a temporal field. He discovers that the establishment of Eternity in the 27th century was only possible in the wake of the discovery of the Lefebvre Equations in mathematics at about the same time. Therefore, it would have been impossible for Mallansohn to build a temporal field three centuries earlier. Harlan guesses why Cooper is being given all these classes and confronts Twissel with his discoveries. He believes that Cooper is to be sent back to the 24th century to teach mathematics from the 27th to Mallansohn so that Eternity might be established; in other words, a time loop that must be closed. Twissel is shocked at Harlan’s deductions, but tells him that it is more complicated than that. It turns out that there is a closely guarded book called the Mallansohn Memoir, that is passed along from one Senior Computer to the next in the greatest secrecy. Nearing the end of his long life, the mysterious Mallansohn put pen to paper to tell the story of his life. This great man who was credited with the discovery of the temporal field was a recluse who lived in the California wilderness. In 2317, he was visited by Brinsley Sheridan Cooper, who claimed to be from the future and set about teaching him all he needed to know about time travel. However, Cooper became frustrated. Mallansohn was no great pupil, and Cooper himself turned out to be no great teacher. To make matters worse, Mallansohn suffered an accident one day and died. Cooper found himself at a loss. After a long time, he decided to make a bold move. He himself would take on the identity of Mallansohn and finish the work Eternity had assigned to him. He built his first temporal field and wrote out instructions for the future Eternals. At the end of his life, which was very long, he realized at last that he himself had always been the Vikkor Mallansohn that the Eternals so revered. In other words, he was the loop of the circle in time, and Eternity itself was responsible for the establishment of Eternity. In his book, he mentioned that he had been given invaluable teaching from Technician Harlan and other training under the direction of Laban Twissel. Therefore, at the appropriate time, the Allwhen Council went about finding Harlan and Twissel and putting them in the positions that had been described by Mallansohn. Harlan, from an early age, had been encouraged to take an interest in primitive history so that the circle in time might be closed. Mallansohn had also mentioned the special kettle that had transported him past the downwhen terminus of the 27th into the 24th. Twissel now reveals to Harlan that they are only hours away from sending Cooper into the past. He also reveals that there is a danger that the circle can be broken. A rash act by anyone in on the story could put an end to Eternity. He also explains why it is important to establish Eternity three centuries before it would be established by the natural course of events. It turns out that without the temporal field and the attention of scientists being directed to time travel, alternative technological developments would have led to the destruction of the human race. In other words, Eternity had to be set up to save and guide humanity.

In the meantime, Harlan has broken the laws of Eternity by removing Noÿs from the 482nd prior to a Change. Using blackmail, he had a Life Plotter trace Noÿs and discovered that she would not exist in the new Reality. Desperate to keep his true love, Harlan rescues her from the doomed reality and hides her far upwhen in the Hidden Centuries. From the 27th to the 70,000th, the Eternals can view time and choose when and where to enter it. However, from the 70,001st to the 150,000th, they cannot break through from Eternity into Time. No one knows why. They are free again to enter Time only after the 150,000th, but find that no human life exists on earth. The Eternals believe that the most likely explanation is that human beings have left the earth and gone to live on other planets. But that still does not explain the barrier that prevents them from viewing the earth after the 70,000th. It is in these sections of Eternity that Harlan decides to hide Noÿs while he works on his final days with Cooper. They travel into the far upwhen in a kettle and surprisingly it is the time-travel-ignorant Noÿs who stops the kettle at the 111,394th century, saying that it was far enough. Harlan thinks nothing of this at the time and leaves her in the empty section of Eternity there, convinced that no one will be able to find her. However, when he next attempts to return to Noÿs, he finds that the kettle cannot pass the 100,000th century. Believing this to be a ploy of Finge’s to keep Noÿs from him, he rages back to find out what is happening. Finge tells him to consult Twissel and Harlan does so. It is at this point all is made clear about the real mission of Cooper and that it is now time to see him off. Twissel assures Harlan that Noÿs is perfectly safe and takes him to the special kettle that will transport Cooper to the year 2317. The memoir had mentioned Harlan at the controls, so he is locked into the control room and told to wait. He sees the controls set at 2317, but now believes that Twissel and Finge will double-cross him. He sabotages the controls and when Cooper finally sets off, Harlan sends him further downwhen, into the 20th century, preferring to put an end to Eternity rather than let Twissel get the better of him. With Cooper in the 20th, there is no chance of Eternity being established, and death will come to all of them.

Twissel now frees Harlan and tells him he can have Noÿs, believing that all has gone well and that the circle is closed. He is shocked when Harlan tells him what he has done, that Cooper is now in the 20th century but it is not clear exactly where. Twissel upbraids Harlan, saying he had given his word that Noÿs was safe. But Harlan confronts him about the barrier across the 100,000th. The Senior Computer says that no such thing is possible and that Harlan has made a huge mistake. He tells of his own story, of how he too once broke the laws of Eternity and had a child in Time with a woman he fell in love with from the 575th. He tells of how he had a fine son who was turned into a paraplegic by a Reality Change engineered by Twissel himself, and that the son is still out there in Time as a paraplegic. Harlan feels sorry for him and realizes that Twissel was actually his friend all along. Twissel then realizes that there is a way to save Eternity. They find that Cooper placed an ad in an edition of Time Magazine with his mailing address. All Harlan has to do is go back in time to find him and return him to the 24th. Then the circle will close and all will be well.

Harlan, however, demands to be reunited with Noÿs. They travel up the kettle shafts and the barrier at the 100,000th is no longer there. Twissel gives no further thought to it, but Harlan can’t understand it. During the trip, the two men have a conversation about evolution. Twissel reveals that he is from a century in the 30,000s, and despite he and Harlan being separated by three million years, there is no great change between their bodies. They then speculate about the people of the Hidden Centuries and the interference of Eternity in time. This sets Harlan on a train of thought.

They find Noÿs in the 111,394th and she is well. They return to the 575th and Harlan demands that he should be allowed to take Noÿs with him on his trip to the year 1932. The idea is to collect Cooper at the exact moment of his arrival and return him to his mission without any perceptible time lapse. Twissel agrees, as no one else is capable of negotiating life in the Primitive except Harlan.

Harlan and Noÿs set off in the special kettle and arrive in 1932. They find Cooper’s cave and some money that he has left for them. Next day, Harlan will set off to find the young Eternal. But now he and Noÿs indulge in a strange conversation. His conversation with Twissel in the kettle has got him thinking and he works out something important: Noÿs is a woman of the Hidden Centuries and her people put up the barrier over the 100,000th.

Noÿs now reveals what has actually happened to humanity between the 70,000th and the 150,000th. Humanity has died out, unable to compete in the Galaxy. In the 125,000th, human scientists worked out how to travel quickly to other stars using the hyperspatial jump. But when they arrive on other planets, they find that other intelligences in the galaxy have beaten them to it. Although humanity is an older intelligence, they took too long to develop the jump through space and allowed younger races to overtake them. The humans suffer a sense of loss and eventually die out by the 150,000th.

The people of Noÿs’s time have developed time travel of their own, but based on different scientific principles from those of Eternity. They have learned how to view history and alternative history and discover that they live in a low probability time. They suspect that some Change in the far downwhen initiated by Eternity is responsible for this. Had it not been for this Change, mankind would have reached the stars before the other younger races in the galaxy, thereby achieving humanity’s Basic State, i.e. the most likely Reality possible, rather than the low probability Reality.

Thorough investigation showed that the Change that was caused was not a Change made by Eternity but rather the very establishment of Eternity in the first place. Noÿs explains to Harlan that Eternity must never be established. All they have to do is send the kettle away and never seek out Cooper.

Harlan is furious and threatens to kill Noÿs. But finally he succumbs to her argument. She tells him that she had viewed their Reality together and fallen in love with him even before she met him. All they have to do is send one letter to Italy so that scientists will develop nuclear technology instead of temporal technology. This will mean the first nuclear bomb in 1945 instead of the 30th century. But the result of this will be that men will reach for the stars, seeing the danger of having only one planet that could be blasted away in a nuclear war. Harlan agrees. They send the kettle away and Cooper disappears from the 20th century. Noÿs and Harlan are protected by a physiotime shield and survive. This is the end of Eternity and the beginning of Infinity.

Comments on the Story

Asimov was inspired to write this story by an actual advertisement in Time magazine. At the Boston University library, he had become known as the “Time professor” because he loved going through old editions of the magazine. On November 17, 1953, he came across an advert in a 1932 magazine that appeared to have a mushroom cloud drawn on it. As this was thirteen years before the first nuclear explosion, the whole thing seemed out of place. Closer examination showed that it was not a mushroom cloud; it was a geyser, but this was seedling he needed for The End of Eternity. The message that Cooper leaves in the old Time magazine for Harlan is an ad with a mushroom cloud and the caption: All the Talk Of the Market, spelling out the word ATOM.

The book is different from most of the Good Doctor’s other books in that he makes little attempt to link it to his Foundation and Robot universe. Although a brief mention is made of the Eternals in Foundation's Edge (1982), the book stands on its own.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed the book, it has to be admitted that there are a few weaknesses. The most obvious is the sometimes clumsy characterization. The romance of Harlan and Noÿs is not always very well handled. We have to remember that going into sex was not the done thing in the 1950s, but even so Asimov never seemed to be at ease with intimacy. It was only towards the end of his career that he dealt with it more adroitly, with the relationship between Gladia and Elijah Baley being handled quite well in his Robot novels, and the sexual exploits of Golan Trevize in Foundation and Earth.

The most serious criticism of the story to the modern mind is that there are almost no women in Eternity. Asimov does attempt to justify this by saying that extracting women from world history would mean a greater chance of upsetting causality; but with the Eternals already altering Reality so much, that argument is hard to sustain. The fact is that Asimov came from a male-dominated society and could only write his book from that viewpoint. It is one of the few aspects of the story that sound dated. Another is that in Eternity there is no central library or storage system, and people check out book films from individual libraries or line their shelves with them.

I also found Noÿs’ trump card, her closing argument so to speak, too simplistic. Harlan, of course, is not too keen on wiping out Eternity and the revered Cooper-Mallansohn whom he is supposed to save. Noÿs then says that Harlan should not allow “psychopaths” to dictate the future of mankind. Harlan does not approve of the word, but then, at Noÿs’ urging, he reconsiders it:

“He thought of the caste system in Eternity, of the abnormal life that turned guilt feelings into anger and hatred against Technicians. He thought of Computers struggling against themselves, of Finge intriguing against Twissel, and Twissel spying on Finge…”

This could have been done a little better. If we’re going to wipe out every organization that has in-fighting and passing the buck, petty jealousies and envy, then it’s not only Eternity that would have to go. In-fighting is found just about everywhere.

Nevertheless, the flaws of the story are easily compensated for by its general greatness. The blurb describes it as “science fiction for the connoisseur”, a description that I fully agree with. First of all, there is Eternity itself. The kettle shafts and shifting realities and Changes are a brilliant piece of work. But most importantly, the story is thought-provoking and opens up the mind to many ideas. We can speculate about the paradoxes of time travel and how better things would be if mistakes could be corrected.

Although the book is in certain respects a product of the fifties, the story as a whole stands up well to the test of time. I first read the book in 1994, nearly forty years after it was published and even today it still goes down a treat. Some details can be criticized, but in general the story is a masterpiece, a mammoth undertaking that only a great writer could hold together and keep under control. One of the most interesting points is how the Eternals talk of centuries on such a broad scope, seeing each century as an evolving entity that they strive to understand, monitor and manipulate. Individuals within the centuries are not as important as the quest to achieve the greater good, a recurring theme in the Asimovian universe.

Asimov wrote very few time travel stories, but The End of Eternity is certainly a great read. His favourite fiction themes were robots, of which he was the undisputed master, and psychohistory. However, in my opinion, Eternity is right up there among his greatest works. Looking back on the story thirty years after publication, Asimov lamented how it was underrated, overshadowed by the Robot and Foundation series. Some commentators have pointed out that the plot is too complicated and that all the changes and tweaking of Reality are too overwhelming for many readers. That may be the case for some people, but if you enjoy thought-provoking science fiction, this is a book you can savour.